The Weight Management

I think the best part about having a long holiday is taht we would have some time for ourselves. I think it's important for the soul and sort. I think the best part about the time for youself is that you can see, think and sense much more clearly.

Much had happened during the time of the year. The worst part is that I have been cheated nad lied by my best friend. He was the one that I loved and trust for many years. The way he ended 19th of August to me was ridiculously stupid. I think it's very sad to me that I am a very good friend and a stupid one until I never even want to hurt his feeling and I silently accept what he needs. I think I am too good for him, but all I want is him. I don't think I can live without knowing him. But people always tell me that things like him, yes I meant thing exist for the worst of your tomorrow. I think That some thing completely up to you. I think it's individual to say that.

but then what can we have in the end of the day is to salvage oneself from the agony of pain and tears. I see the crowd laughing at me but then I never thought that it would be that serious. I never thought that my heart will ache this long. I still think of him and cared for him. I know this post has nothing to do with weight management but then I promised that I would get to that soon. My English is getting a bit rusty ya know. I haven't been using it for a while so yeah you know the irony my English. Actually, there isn't anyone reading the post but me. So it's gonna be fun talking to myself. Wahahahaa....

P/s: This is some shit ranting, don't take it too seriously.

Being Fat and under the weather

You kno0w what, I am so going to hate myself. I have been gaining almost 15 kilos since last year, and that is something I am not proud of. I can't wear my 32 inches jeans; I can't fit into my office wear anymore and I cannot wear the vest that I usually like to wear on days. It's very bad for my image.

I have done this before. Making public announcement that I need to slim down. Making sure that I go to gym at the right time. It's important that I have to slim down before I am obese. The other day I went over to this machine to figure my weight; and when I stepped on it. I was like 92 kilos. I was stoned. I can't believe it. Now, whenever I wear something, I feel like I have to always wear a jacket over it just to hide those extra pounds. I don't know why people say fat is something not to be ashamed of. For me, I think it would be something to be ashamed of because you don't even care for the body that was blessed to you.

God, I need to lose weight. Give me the strength. I am really tired of wearing sweat pants that is the only thing that I can wear!

Christian And Olli

This one of the most watch drama series in Germany (verbotene liebe) partly becasue Thore Scholermann and Jo Weil played a great part in it making it one of the most successful Gay Couple character in real-time drama. This is the best at what they gave us, the German Vs The American Liberal Democracy, this drama is about acceptance and struggling to be in a relationship, not you stereotype, cliche, and (i need to go to the toilet) kinda drama. This is the prime cut, watch it more in youtube. Ich liebe "Verbotene Liebe" und Chrolli. Alles Gute

Yeah, fan mail:
Pressebüro "Verbotene Liebe"

COLONEUM

Studios 37/38

Butzweiler Str. 255

50829 Köln

I haven't Started yet

You know what, I haven't started my workout, something I can't even promise myself to do it. This is something I have to change I have been trying to workout but can't seem to find some thing to inspire me. Maybe I need to really work on something to get me inspired, maybe this picture? I mean come on, I still need to get a decent shape first, but the damn thing is that the gym is not opening and my dateline is like 3 months from now. I have a dumbbell but I can only afford to be with it a few times a day, I'm pathetic but then I will try hard to actually get it soon, I know maybe I'll just stick to the better thing in life and put workout in my list of to-do thing. It'll be great!

P/s: I'm working out now.

My Fat Fat Fat Body

This something really humiliating but this what I am going to show to everyone, practically, if no one really reads this blog then it'll be very much appreciated, but how would I put it, I am really a sportsman, once upon a time, like 5 years ago, but suddenly after the period of when I was 18 my body starts to bulge up here and there. It is something that I cannot accept, people tell me to embrace the truth of your body but I really cannot accept that truth up until today, I am really trying to make a change on my body but it is still something I want to change for a while, but I made myself a promise that after this i am going to make myself loose more fat than I can ever loose. This is for real, because some how I made it a promise that on my birthday, on the 11th of December, I am going to be much more slimmer than I am now.

Notice that why I never mentioned the word losing kilos no more. I made up my mind that if I am to slim down, might as well I gain some muscle along the road. i would like to do that as soon as possible. It's 22nd of August 2010, 2.53 pm in Malaysia, I am so going to lose my fat fat body. But certainly I am going to make this a journal for me to express what I think is important. I know that it is what I need to overcome.

My roommate said: "You're fat! Fat, and you must embrace the reality...! you'll never be slim anymore." I am going to show to him that I may be fat right now but I am going to lose these awful bulges in a month or two. I am really someone if I put my heart into it, it will be hard to make me change my mind. I hope that this commitment will last for a long time. As a proof of commitment, I'll upload this picture to show that I mean business.

My First Cystic Acne

I haven't been sleeping well these days, you know with all the burden put onto me and so on, I can't barely find a time to really rest. I need food but it is fasting month so I kind of get use to that statement anyway. But what irritates me the most is having cystic acne, it is so damn painful, how can anyone stand it! I was like what the hell! It's like something that bulged out from you face and shout to the public and say, "Look at me!!!" I am so wondering why on earth would people have these things! It's painful and disgusting!

I am going to be very less motivate these days!

3 Hours in the Net

I am officially hooked to the application "MouseHunt" in facebook, I don't know why but it is really something that can grab you within second and that is rare for me. I went all over to look for mice and try to get my rank upgraded as soon as possible and try to make things easier for me to cope with. It was a fun afternoon for me, because I don't have a life. Then, a few minutes later, I went to sleep.

I was really satisfied by the amount of sleep i've been getting especially during this fasting month and especially when you don't have anything to do rather than making something not worthwhile for sometimes. I went to one of the blogs that I really like and bammed I'm hit by the ammount of things that I found out after like almost 2 months I last visited it. Shocked and amazed.

Today, I broke my promise and I ate rice, i know that is not good but then you know this is my last day of touching rice and I am going to reduce the portion size that I am eating soon after. You know to get back my body is somewhat impossible right now, this is because there are a lot, i mean a lot of temptation for me in the place that I am in and futher more I need to survive with food. But i now know why is it hard for some people to resist the temptation of food, although it made me fat by like a lot of kgs. Shit!

So this is what I am going to do, I am going to lift weight tomorrow, and I am going to fast and break my fast and go to gym after that. It'll be something great for me because then I don't need to feel guilty of eating after I exercised. I need to do some sort of crunch after that too, and I am going to reduce the amount of body fat I have and going to built back my long lost 6 packs.

Great body, here I go!!!